i have based my life around making sure each and every person that i come into contact with knows how pure, honest, genuine, and caring i am.

ive tried my best to let all my friends know im here for them at any time to call and cry about whatever it is they need to cry about.

ive let all my acquaintances know that i would give the shirt off my back to them.

i spend all of my time being myself and it just so happens that i make people laugh by being myself. 

i feel that on a friend level im not that hard to figure out. 

i am known to tell anyone how it is, and go beyond limits.

im the person to go to if you want to know if your knew hair style looks good. why? because if it doesnt, im going to tell you it doesnt, and let you know why.

i try my hardest to always base my opinions around facts.

i have given friends money out of my pocket without hesitation and it does feel good to know that they can feel comfortable to ask me.

i have given friends rides home from work and when they hand me as much money as they can for gas, i give them 50-75% back.

i am a ball breaker. 

i will play as many pranks as i can on you in one day.

i want to be remembered as;

"oh my god, chelsea would fuck with everyone all the time, it was hilarious. in a split second shed go from goofing around to serious and protect us under any circumstances. i would trust her with anything of mine. any time i needed anything she would show up in a heart beat and help"

i feel like im half way there. 

word was going around that i was saying some things about some one. the person confronted me and said what he heard, then proceeded to tell me that he didnt believe it because it didnt sound like something i would say or do. 

i cant tell you how good that made me feel.

in a very drunk conversation with another friend of mine, he told me how i am the most real person he ever met.

i love hearing that.

i usually dont ever hate someone enough to talk about them all the time, but im not going to lie, there are a few people.

someone approached me;

"_____ said that you were telling people i was an idiot for _______" says the idiot

"well, you did ______, and it wasnt that smart" says i

"do you have a problem with me or something?"  says the now angry idiot

"a little bit" says the calm and collected chelsea

"if you have something to say then do something about it" now the idiot is very angry because im not fighting the way he wants me to

"ok, your an idiot for ______ , sorry i dont have time to chat, i have some other stuff to do. have a good day tho ok" i say sincerely and continue with whatever it was i was doing.

idiot storms away angry.

who wins? ......who still looks like an idiot?

everyone says they dont like drama, gossip, bullshit, etc. 

not for nothing but they are all full of shit.

sometimes the way i am does get a little much. some people think im kind of a bitch because i dont have limits. sometimes people dont know what is a joke and what isnt. 

i tell these people to just roll with it. i might get angry, everybody does. but im not the douche bag whos going to be angry then try to fuck your shit up. im going to get angry, then 5 minutes later get over it. its when it continues that i stay angry. but lets take a look at the people i call my friends really quick.

Kate- been BEST FRIENDS (not just known, like, actually hung out all this time) for 18 years.

Eric-  been my lesbro for about 4 years i believe.

joe- best guy friend for 7 years

casey- been a good friend for 6-7 years.

why have they been close for so many years? why do i only really consider to have 2 best friends and 2 really good friends? because when someone is useless to me, i get rid of them. sound harsh? little bit. but the most important person in my life is me. why should i deal with someones immature bullshit and wish they were different as they take advantage of me for the sake of their happiness when everything i need is in kate and eric?

the ridiculous flaw of trying my best to be the most real and helpful person i can be is that yes, i get walked on, alot. 

i work like someone who gets paid $12 an hour for $8.50 an hour. it sucks but what the hell am i gonna do? i need money.

i have had people borrow money and not return it. 

get rides and never offer gas money.

never call me unless they need me to move something for them.

never want to hang out on my time, only when they have absolutely nothing to do.

but guess what? i dont talk to those people any more. i dont care what we shared. i dont care what we been through. 

i have 2 best friends that i would kill for. and i have a few friends that i just met and really connect with. so far, they havnt given me a reason to find them useless so i wont stop hanging out with them. i love the time i spend with them. i have so much fun being silly and crazy with them. if i stopped talking to any of them i would miss them alot. however, when it comes down to it, if any of them showed me that they are useless, or that they dont know me well enough then good bye.

a few months ago two friends of mine broke up. i knew them both before they started dating. i was talking with one and i made a sexual joke. too me, it didnt mean anything. i had no interest in sleeping with her. and i would never do that to a friend.

her ex girlfriend then IMed me and yelled at me about it. 

ok, bye. good knowing you.

deleted both.

the one who yelled at me messaged me a few weeks ago and said how she misses me and what not.

oh well.

if you do not know me well enough to know that i would NEVER do that kind of thing to a friend and that i joke around all the time then you are useless to me. we clearly were never friends and i have no reason to keep you around. 

a friend is more then just someone to have a good time with.

im just ranting now. i have to get ready for work. 

x