my negativity has always pushed away all the people i was closest to. recently it is really starting to take its toll and hurt me more then usual.
being negative is alot like home to me.
i always was and its my comfort zone. i dont want to be comfortable here but i am. its awkward.
i dont know how to be positive, and when i try to be, something even worse then before happens. like some higher power punishing me for thinking my life could be any different.
i dont know what to do anymore. i have 2 best friends who i am holding onto for dear life but every time i hang out with them i feel like im pushing them away, because i have to be annoying. and i have a girl im seeing who tells me every day i need to chill. i know she is probably sick of me by now and i dont blame her. loosing any of these 3 people would really do a number on me. i know shit happens, people come and go. but being with them makes me feel a positive energy that i like to hold on to. i need to figure something out before its too late.
