hi. im 23 year years old.

     Sometimes i drive around the streets i grew up in and everything looks so unfamiliar. I, again, hit a new realisation today. isnt that what life is? i constantly learn. im happy enough to recognize an epiphany when it happens.
     I am 23 years old. I am a shift leader at a secure restaurant chain, Five Guys Burgers and Fries. I am going to be a salary manager by next year (my own decision, it has not been discussed at work yet) i will become a GM of a store in the next five.
     I absolutely love my job.
   
     Today i checked my bank account and found that i still have $500 left from my last pay check (which was may 30th) am i happy? well duh. am i freaked out? very much so.
     Here i am. all my bills for june are paid and its only the 9th. i am proud. i am strong. i am smart. i am independent. i am losing my mind.
     With the money i am making now and the straightness of my head i am welcomed to a whole new collection of opportunities and responsibilities.
     I need to move out of my mothers house soon. I am welcomed to stay as long as i need it. My mother isnt pushing me out, nor am i trying to run out. however, planning is in effect. new bills. new independence.
     That alone freaks me out.
     I am, for the first time in my life, enjoying silence. i am enjoying waking up and laying in bed with the tv off and mentally preparing myself for the day.
     I am, for the first time in my life, enjoying being alone. of course i want a relationship. i want someone to share all my success with. i want someone to build new success with. someone to answer to. someone to come home to. someone to make love to. someone to waste time with.
    However, right now i am satisfied with what i have. i have fun and party. i sing as loud as i can and i dont care who hears. i get some when i need some. and most importantly  i feel as if i finally weeded out all the waste in my circle of friends. i will continue to do that and everyone knows. i have said it before: all of you can be replaced. the only person who i cant replace is myself.
    they say you cant love someone until you love yourself. i am learning. it has been 8 months since elle left me. every day i miss her. i will always love her, but, i am ok. i will live. i am having fun, saving money, saving energy.
    love has always had me so high up in the clouds that i couldn't keep my feet grounded long enough to figure out myself.
    i am learning alot about myself. they may not be the best things, but at least i know them now.
thats all for now. this post is to be continued. the x will not be placed at the bottom...